Reading time: 20 minutes.
A devotion to Mamak
Opening the 2017 with mourning, I strived
to recall the goodness I’ve been enjoying so far. It’s pretty helpful to make
me feel much better. And this one-sentence healed my wounds: Yes, I’m full of grace (period)
One of my VIPs has passed away couple
days ago, in the early January 2017 (come on, it’s still joyful New Year
vibe). However, I was ‘forced’ to celebrate New Year with contemplating the owner
of everyone’s life. Our lives aren’t ours. It belongs to God, including my Mom
(read: Mamak).
This is the account of my
Mamak; Esmerita br. Rajagukguk.
She was born in Sibolga, July 6, 1965.
She was 51 years old when she breathed her last. She has given birth to six
kids (my first twin brothers were only 1 day old). Afterward, she nurtured four
kids with a Bataknese husband whose name is Tutur Parulian Pasaribu Bondar.
Their children inherited the family name (Pasaribu Bondar), although she didn’t
officially register the family name on the last of her kids' name.
Two girls and two boys completed her
life. I am the second daughter from her family tree. I am lucky having her as
my Mamak. I thought, I didn’t complete her life, instead she perfectly completed
me. She has been sacrificing her life to earn her kids’ education, including
me. I’ve been savoring decent education because of her best efforts. Yes, I’m full of grace.
Mamak was officially a widow since 2008. Nevertheless,
she has worked completey arduous since 1998; the time my father was getting sick. Thus,
mamak has been toiling for almost 20 years, including earning my undergrad
degree. It turned out my Best-Grad achievement from Indonesia Banking School. Yes, I’m full of grace.
Besides, mamak was concerned not only about
my education but also my love story; my life partner to be. She tried to arrange
me to marry a man. Nonetheless, she never forced me to follow her options. She gave me freedom to choose my man while she
kept praying the best for me. It turned out I meet with my future husband. We
are currently preparing our marriage. Yes, I’m full of grace.
She constantly taught me about love and
faithfulness. She reminded me to never let them leave me, but bind them around
my neck, write them on the tablet of my heart. Then I will win favor and a good
name, in the sight of God and man. She said that I need to trust in God with
all my heart and to not lean on my own understanding, rather in all my ways, I
need to acknowledge God, because the Lord will make my path straight.
Oh, it’s so beautiful (such my name) when
I remember what she’s been teaching me. And the most important one is she
bridged me with Jesus Christ. She pushed
me to lean on God’s understanding and timing. She wanted me to be purified
seven times like silver refined in a furnace of clay. So, I turn out to be
flawless. Yes, I’m full of grace.
Mamak always put our names in her
prayers, every day; asking God to protect and guard her children whenever they
are. She was so simple and faithful. She led us by example and never spoke
harshly. NEVER. Jeez, it’s so
comforting while remembering her face as my morning view. Kissing her arms and cuddled
her tightly were truly the best lullaby ever. Yes, I’m full of grace.
I’m full of grace because I still had chances
to enjoy her arms and presence, to kiss her cheeks and lips, to hug her sexy
body, to heed her instructions, to listen to her spoiled voice, to lure me with
her smiles, to present my life as her girl, and … to call her, my Mamak.
This post is honestly devoted to her, to
express how grateful I am as her girl. She disappears from this world, but
all of her teachings remain in my life and I will succeed them to our descendants
ahead. She is safe and sound in heaven.
I will never forget that I am full of grace. Yes, I’m full of grace for having you in my life, Mamak.
1 comment:
I am sorry to hear that your mother passed away. Stay strong and remember that you still have a lot of people who care about you. Deepest condolences for you and your family. I miss you as a bestfriend ...
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